Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Dark Can Be Lonely When We're Together
Today my wife told me that she's been depressed lately thinking about the baby. I sat with her on the couch and listened but in my head I was thinking thank god! I don't know if it's because I was relieved that I'm not alone of if because I could tell she's been down and now she's opening up again to me. Recently I've seen her acting down but I couldn't get her to tell me what was wrong. That's so frustrating for me because I hate to feel shut out. Part of that is my fault. I know that at times I do the typical male thing and try to fix problems when all she wants me to do is listen. Now I think she doesn't want to tell me about what's bothering her unless there is a possible solution or some new information. The reality is that I do want to know what's going on or I fear the worst. I think at times men just need to be told, "I need to talk and I don't want you to try to fix it or give me advice." I don't seem to know when it's that kind of conversation until I've already upset her by throwing my thoughts at her. I don't like that I do that. It's just a compulsion. I told her that she can always talk to me even though she may think it will bring me down. I hope she does. Sitting in the dark can be lonely if we don't talk.